If you want to feel alive, then learn to love your ground.

Remember how I felt when I first got back from London? Like I didn't know where I belonged, and I wanted to be four different places at once?

When all of this fell into my lap--the job, the school, the apartment--it was hard to not see God's hand in all of it. He was so clearly directing me a certain way, and I stepped into his direction with confidence and expectation.

But so far, it's nothing like I expected.

I love my job, and I love the people I work with. My boss is not only a powerhouse, she is a pleasure to work for and a constant encouragement. In fact, going to work is the best part of my day, because I get to spend hours with some of the most inspiring people. And now that the student workers have started, there is even more inspiration to be had. When I'm at work, I am comfortable but pushed beyond my comfort zone. And I know it's exactly where I'm supposed to be.

Outside of my job, things start to look a little bit...messier. I suppose I haven't really found my "nitch" yet, so I still feel unsettled. I've moved to several different places on my own, without knowing anyone, and I've gotten along just fine. But this time is different. There's no orientation for grown-up life, there's no city tour and scavenger hunt, and there's definitely no icebreakers. You have to come up with your own way to break the ice--but first you have to find people with whom you need to break it. Outside of work, and Natalie, I've made a few friends here and there, randomly. But it mostly just leaves me craving the intimate and real relationships I've made in the past--at Queens, at Crestridge, and in London.

It's funny that when things make sense and happen outside of my control, it's easy for me to give God the credit. But when things start to look a little imperfect, messy, and confusing, my first response is to wonder if this is really where God meant for me to be. Because, I have this false idea of what that should look like, of what life should look like if I'm stepping into God's plan. But, the truth, I have no idea what it will look like. And, there's a good chance I'm exactly where God wants me but, perhaps, not being who He wants me to be.

Friends, I have a lot to learn. Everything is new to me right now, and God's mercies are new every morning (thank goodness). This journey is just getting started, and I don't have the slightest clue as to what the next two years in Columbia will look like. I do have a God that I can put all my trust in, though, and I am confident in His perfect plan. Most of the time. And for the times that I am not confident, He sweeps me off my feet and reminds me how very much He loves me.

Love,
lvp